Things I Don’t Love: The “Just for Eric” version

So, my buddy Eric, after looking at my blog, gave me all kinds of shit about how I “love a lot of things.” The sarcasm fairly dripped from his words. It’s okay, I know he’s just completely jealous of my ability to feel my life in such brilliant, awe-inspiring color. I wouldn’t be surprised if it keeps him up at night. So, in his jaded, pessimistic, dyspeptic, Eeyore-ish, “my glass is half empty” honor, and partly to find out if he’s actually keeping an ongoing eye on the goings-on here, here’s a list of 35 things I don’t love (and, in some cases, might actually hate), in no particular order.

  1. When people sit in the passing lane and don’t pass, but won’t move over so you can pass. Also, people who speed up when you’re trying to pass them.
  2. Biting into chicken gristle.
  3. Mosquitoes.
  4. People who think God is on their side more so than on anyone else’s.
  5. Excessive humidity.
  6. Animal abusers.
  7. When people let others buy drinks for them, but won’t buy drinks for anyone else.
  8. Sarah Palin and the staggeringly and frighteningly idiotic stuff that comes out of her mouth.
  9. When people at the Farmer’s Market stop right in the middle of the traffic pattern to adjust their backpacks, take a phone call, soothe the kid in the stroller, etc. MOVE TO THE SIDE, PLEASE.
  10. Fire ant bites.
  11. People who outfit themselves in head-to-toe Harley-Davidson clothing but barely get on their bikes.
  12. “A Clockwork Orange.”
  13. Plugged-up toilets.
  14. Wolverines during football season. Badgers during basketball season.
  15. Mel Gibson.
  16. Avocados that have bad spots, when you were really counting on those avocados.
  17. Money anxiety.
  18. Any beer that uses its caloric value as a marketing tool.
  19. Taking out my contacts after forgetting I cut jalapenos a few hours earlier.
  20. Mean people.
  21. When people don’t replace the toilet paper roll, when there’s one sitting RIGHT THERE.
  22. The idea of extending the Bush tax cuts for people making over $250,000.
  23. Parents who refuse to discipline their kids when they’re being absolutely disrespectful and out-of-control little monsters.
  24. When you put bedsheets in the dryer and the entire set gets tangled up in a ball inside the fitted sheet and doesn’t dry at all.
  25. Driving through Indiana.
  26. Malls.
  27. People who sit like lumps on the ground or in chairs near the front of a general admission outdoor concert and then get pissed off when you want to stand in front and actually dance and move and show the artist you appreciate what they’re doing up there on stage.
  28. Most everything you can buy at Starbucks.
  29. Fast food.
  30. Impatience.
  31. Sleeping in any later than 8:30 a.m.
  32. People who are rude and condescending to people in a service industry.
  33. Pop-up ads.
  34. White bread.
  35. Paying full price for anything.

2 thoughts on “Things I Don’t Love: The “Just for Eric” version

  1. As a daily I-90 commuter, I agree with the passing lane thing. I also hate the folks that think the extra distance you leave between you and the car immediately in front of you when driving in inclement weather is a space for them to squeeze in…
    Great blog.

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